Senior Dog Life
This is the first time I’ve had a dog make it past twelve years, and each day is more bitter sweet than the last.
Murphy’s Law turned 16 a few months ago and every day is both a challenge and a gift. If you’ve loved a senior dog then you know what I mean. There are days where we don’t sleep, and days where we get one more game of ball, even if it is a lot slower than it used to be. I’m learning a lot about prioritizing the important things and taking life a little slower. If you are lucky enough to be loving a senior dog right now here are a few things I recommend…
Time is precious:
I’m about to say the most yogi thing I ever say: “be present in the moment as often as possible.”
It’s easy to get swept up in the day to day of it all and miss somethings you’ll regret later. I get it that work needs to happen, groceries need to be purchased, and the dust bunnies aren’t going to vacume themselves. But I also know that it won’t hurt anything to take five minutes to sit on the floor and just be with your boy for a bit.
Prioritize your need to do’s and your want to do’s so that you can find a few precious moments here and there through the day, if it means leaving emails until later then so be it. It’s important to communicate that you are making space in your life right to the people that have say in your time management. It may be as simple as setting boundaries around work hours or asking for help in household chores, but you have to ask and you are allowed to be selfish.
Time management for elder care households:
Establish routines for eating, sleeping, and daily movement. These are non-negotiables. When you know that 5:00 is dinner time for your pup you can look forward to those 15 minutes of together time. It’s not just a chore, it’s a chance to steal away for a few minutes to connect in a way that matters to them and you.
Be transparent about your reasons for clearing your calendar. Turning down excessive invites, limiting extra work hours, and simply allowing you time to be home and present will give you the space to experience quality time without feeling rushed. Hind-sight is a bitch and you don’t want to have remorse around wasting time on obligatory social events you didn’t want to do anyway. Prioritize the events that you truly want to do and feel free to say “no” to all the rest.
Allow extra time. I can’t stress this one more. Little things are going to take longer. Gone are the days when I could get everyone fed, walked, and loved on in under an hour. Sometimes Murphy takes a full ten minutes to make his way into the kitchen for breakfast from 20 feet away in the living room. Try not to over schedule yourself when possible.
Flex like a yogi. I’m not talking about complicated poses here, I mean be ok with things going a different way. This is a struggle for a lot of people, but it’s a skill you can learn. Schedules are good things, important things, but they can also be limiting if too rigid. Practice being ok with things getting moved around. An example of this is when I go grocery shopping. I prefer to be in and out of the store before 7am to avoid all the people and annoying things that happen at the store on a Sunday morning, but early this am Murphy took a tumble down the stairs and now 1 pain pill later is finally sleeping comfortably on my lap. So today, it’s 8am and I’m sitting here writing a blog post instead of being done shopping- and that’s ok.
Things change:
The hardest part of living with a senior dog is watching how they change. Gone is the adventurous pup who loved to go for a daily walk, gone are the days when I could leave the house without the thought of “what am I coming home to?” Now we have a lot of sleeping. A lot of falling off of things. A lot of trying to do basics like eating and figuring out the doggie door.
There are also really great things- like sitting on my yoga mat with all the sheebs, just stretching and breathing. Watching how the younger boys are so tender and gentle with the older two. Having a family snuggle on the couch cozied in with blankets and movies late into a Saturday evening.
Wrap up your old memories in new ones and appreciate that they show the evolution of a lifetime of love, instead of mourning the past. It’s very “yogi” to observe without judgement. Meaning to take each experience for what it is instead of trying to understand or create a story for it. Sometimes not wanting to walk is simply now wanting to go for a walk- it doesn’t have to be sadness for the last walk that you forgot to clock and now can’t remember when it even was.
You can layer new memories onto the old ones and make them more rich without feeling the gut-wrenching sadness all the time.
Acceptance:
Your instinct may be to try and “fix” an old dog. Whether it’s getting the right food, the perfect supplement, or hiring the most expensive specialist. (Been there on all of those) If that’s your journey I’m here for it, but after you try the things it’s time to accept that you’ve done it all and now you can simply live each day you have with your senior.
I’ve seen so many of my clients agonize over whether or not there was one more thing they could have done, or if they should have made the choice sooner. There can be an unlimited amount of guilt if you allow it. Only you know what the final leg of the journey looks like, take cues from your dog and trust that you are doing exactly what needs to be done at exactly the right time.
I’m not going to end this article on a final note, because in my house right now we aren’t there yet. We have bad days, we have good days, some days we just try our best. You became a dog-mom to love and be loved by your soul dog, you know what you’re doing, trust yourself.
Did you know that there are pet chaplains? Trained professionals can help you while you are caring for your senior dog as well as after your soul dog has gone. You are not alone. If you need support start here
